Monday, December 24, 2007
As for me, I'll be sitting in the pool sipping apple martinis and thanking the jolly fat man for sending the children enough plastic euphoria to keep them entertained all day. Cheers!
Friday, December 21, 2007
In other news, after reading this post, I've decided to turn off word verification. To be honest, I'm not sure why I had it on in the first place!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Is everyone ready for Christmas? I haven't finished my shopping but not sure I could handle the crowds this time of year. Perhaps I should fork out the extra and do my last minute shopping online. Luckily, this year our family christmas get-together is on the 30th, so I can hit the after Christmas sales for most of the gifts.
Seeing as I have tomorrow free, I was thinking of taking my young cousin Bree to see Jerry Seinfeld's 'Bee Movie'. Have any readers seen it? Please comment to let me know if it's worthwhile!
Right, must bugger off as I have limited net time until I get home. Hope everyone is well!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do." - Benjamin Franklin.
Came across this earlier and thought it was brilliant.
Must run, see you all thursday!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Speaking of bedlam, the Tantrum Theatre schedule arrived in the mail yesterday. Coincidently, two of the four productions lined up for next year, involve mental patients. Obviously, this means I will fit in quite nicely.
I appologise if this post has not been of quality, or humor, however I have an inkling the dead braincells have taken my funny bone hostage. Let's hope all negotiations go well, and everything is returned to its rightful place, unharmed, as soon as possible.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Before, when my only visitors were family and friends, I never felt any pressure to produce anything of quality, it all just spilled out, and if it didn't make sense, it didn't matter. Now however, I feel an obligation to produce something of quality, something that people might actually want to read. Have any other bloggers been through this? Discuss.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
We smile; when we want to cry.
We laugh; to conceal pain.
We say we're strong; when we want to crumple in a heap.
We say we're fine; when we're falling apart.
We say we want to be left alone; when we're craving company.
We say we don't want to talk about it; when could really appreciate a kind ear.
We say we don't want pity; when we'd love nothing more than tea and sympathy.
We say we can do it ourselves; when we'd love a helping hand.
No wonder men are so clueless!
In other news, man I hate mornings. Especially waking up from wonderful dreams where we are pally with our celebrity idol, or 3 years old again, playing with toy boats in the tub. Just one of those days where I curse the alarm and beg the sandman to come back. Ahh, such is life.
Fact of the day: Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, laser printers and windshield wipers were all invented by women.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The reunion between Mum and Sharyn went great; a teary affair for all involved. It was great hearing stories of what mischief they got up to when they were younger. On the way home, I decided to quiz my mother on what she thought the surprise might have been.
Myself: Who did you think was going to be waiting inside?
Mother: I had no idea. I thought maybe you’d organised some superstar through your connections or something.
Myself: Like, Orlando Bloom?
Mother: Well, yeah.
Myself: You think, if given the chance, I would share him with you?
Mother: Well, no I guess not.
Myself: You can have Brad.
Mother: Deal. By the way, Sharyn was a much better surprise than Orlando.
Thank goodness for that.
Monday, December 10, 2007
This morning I awoke to a most amusing conversation between myself and my grandfather, Paul.
Grandfather: Could you come out and take some pictures with the digital camera of Gran with the horses?
Myself: Mmm, okay. When did you get a digital camera?
Grandfather: ... I didn't.
I chose to indulge in my coffee for a few extra minutes, for it sounded much more enjoyable than photographic work with an imaginary camera.
In other news, I will be away until Wednesday, so sit tight. When I get back I'll be sure to update you with all the news of how the reunion between Mum and Sharyn went.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Catwalk Debut. Put simply, I think I'll stick to acting; in the words of Emma Thompson, "Looking pretty is far too much effort".
NaNoWriMo. And the winner is..... Not me. 4,106 out of 50,000 words doesn't even really qualify. But I gave it a shot, and I'm still writing. Was a lot of fun and I encourage you all to give it a shot next year.
Colonel Brandon. Delicious as always, what more can I say?
Anyway, this morning, I glanced at the flashing red light on the answering machine (which had been flashing for a few days), wishing it would go away, when I finally gave in and hit play. Who's Aussie/Canadian accent should ring out but Miss Sharyn herself! She's in Australia, visiting for a reunion in Newcastle, and was hoping to get in contact with my mother. Santa, you're the man!
I can't wait to surprise Mum, she's going to be over the moon!
Update: Called Sharyn, it's all organised! On Tuesday I will be driving Mum down there, and she has no idea what's going on. Won't tell her until we get there. How exciting!
Stay tuned, will let you all know how it goes.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thankyou to the kind well-wishers who have sent lovely inspirational messages. Special thanks to Jo, who made my day with her beautiful sentiments, and Liam, whom without I would not have had this opportunity.
Stay safe folks, Ciao!
Total words for NaNoWriMo so far: 3,188 (And getting lazier by the minute.)
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
As I ran the first hundred metres (before collapsing onto a fence post), I was vividly reminded of 8th grade gym class, during a lesson that suggested we run around the school breathing through a straw to see what it felt like to breathe through smoker's lungs. Of course, after the lesson, we all rolled our eyes then snuck behind the bike shed for a quick fag. Ahh, if only we had listened.
Nevertheless, I gathered myself up and completed my twenty minute run, then spent the following ten minutes doing squats and rolling around on the grass with Sara, my dog.
Phew! Think I'll go shower & get into bed to watch Sense & Sensibility. Mmm.. Colonel Brandon.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Me: Excuse me, I'm sure you're very busy but...
Woman: Absolutely swamped actually..
Me: Yes well, I'm running late, so I was just wondering if I could pick up a TDR form please?
Woman: Just give me a moment [picks at her nails for a furthur 30 seconds, takes a swig of diet coke] Okay..
She then proceeded to hand me the form then hurry back to her desk for some furthur "busywork".
I made it to the doctors, and am now on a lovely new cocktail of pills. Pretty soon we won't need music at parties. Whenever someone feels like dancing, one of my friends will only have to pick me up and shake me to the appropriate beat.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
In other news, I have survived day one of the relative invasion, with only a few small cuts and bruises. The only issue we’ve really had was the grandfather who was so drunk he fell on his backside and swore we'd just experienced an earthquake.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies of the relatives I had to kill today because they pissed me off."
Saturday, September 1, 2007
In other news, I know I've been sooo lazy with this blog, and I should be shot. I like to wait til something important or interesting happens so I don't fall into the trap of "Last night I watched [insert really crappy movie title here] for the 75th time, the end."
Stay safe, Adios!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
To set the scene, I live on a farm. The neighbours, (approx. 1km away), are having a party of some sort. Yes, yes lovely, good on them for having a social life.. However, does the music have to be SO LOUD that it is keeping me awake? For goodness sake, a whole freakin' KILOMETRE! Might I add, I'm half deaf - and they will be too by the time this party finishes!
Enough whinging, I'll be off. Til next time.. Ciao!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
So here's the lowdown on what's been happening in my absence. Saturday night, I babysat for a new woman in town. Her two children (aged 18 months and 3 years) were absolutely adorable - then they woke up. Anyone noticed how even the most angelic-looking child loses his or her appeal when they wake at 1am screaming for their mother?
Sunday morning when I arrived home, I was handed a tube of personal lubricant by my dear old grandmother who seemed convinced it was ointment to relieve the joints - the picture of a moaning woman on the front of the tube wasn't a dead giveaway?
Monday, was drama day. It rained incessantly, thus causing every road in the area to flood and be closed off. This forced me to cancel my long-awaited rheumatologist appointment for today, to be postponed until the end of September; only to awake this morning to clear skies and dry roads. Ah, such is life.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
'Til next time folks, stay safe, and don't run with scissors. Ciao!
Monday, August 13, 2007
The visitors have finally left, and even the other permanent residents of the house have cleared out for the night - Woooohooo!
Today I started a 'nazi' clean-up of the kitchen. I say 'started', as I spent over four hours on it and only managed to wipe the benches, wash all the dinnerplates, throw out the kettle, and scrub the George Foreman. Have you ever tried cleaning day-old steak residue off a George Foreman using a toothbrush? Honestly George, your grill is fantastic, but for god's sake, next time you invent a kitchen appliance, a little less of the tiny nooks and crannies would be great!
After spending one and a half hours scrubbing the kettle with any means available, (bi-carb soda, white vinegar, disinfectant, hot water, steel wool and a toothbrush), this was the end result:
Needless to say, the dead kettle went straight in the bin, and has been replaced with a brand-spankin' new one. Just like the old one - minus the grime.
Happy to announce that Jo's webgroup is nearly ready to be revealed. Looks like tomorrow may be the day! Watch this space.
Having the house to one's self calls for vodka, chocolate, and Denzel Washington. Off to self indulge, au revoir!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
On a more personal note, today will soon be marked in history as the day the nut was finally cracked. My lovely family is currently visiting, (oh whay heartfelt joy it brings me), and the four charming children and two delightful adults temporarily inhabiting my household have finally (don't pretend you didn't see it coming) plotted to destroy the free world as we know it. Therefore, I fear I may have to go into hiding (I wonder if Osama has any advice on cave décor...) until they tire and depart from the residence.
Until next time folks, no worries, be happy, keep smiling, and don't forget to change your underwear daily. Adios!