Happy Holidays!

I won't be around to blog tomorrow so Merry Christmas to you all in advance. Here's hoping you all have safe and happy holidays. Try not to kill the rellies.

As for me, I'll be sitting in the pool sipping apple martinis and thanking the jolly fat man for sending the children enough plastic euphoria to keep them entertained all day. Cheers!

Who Needs PR When You've Got Friends Like This?

Well, I’m home!

The reunion between Mum and Sharyn went great; a teary affair for all involved. It was great hearing stories of what mischief they got up to when they were younger. On the way home, I decided to quiz my mother on what she thought the surprise might have been.

Myself: Who did you think was going to be waiting inside?

Mother: I had no idea. I thought maybe you’d organised some superstar through your connections or something.

Myself: Like, Orlando Bloom?

Mother: Well, yeah.

Myself: You think, if given the chance, I would share him with you?

Mother: Well, no I guess not.

Myself: You can have Brad.

Mother: Deal. By the way, Sharyn was a much better surprise than Orlando.

Thank goodness for that.

Voila!

As you can see, the blog has recieved a much-needed revamp! Thankyou to Jo for her stroke of creative genius for the new name.

This morning I awoke to a most amusing conversation between myself and my grandfather, Paul.

Grandfather: Could you come out and take some pictures with the digital camera of Gran with the horses?

Myself: Mmm, okay. When did you get a digital camera?

Grandfather: ... I didn't.

I chose to indulge in my coffee for a few extra minutes, for it sounded much more enjoyable than photographic work with an imaginary camera.

In other news, I will be away until Wednesday, so sit tight. When I get back I'll be sure to update you with all the news of how the reunion between Mum and Sharyn went.

Drumroll please

Today is the day you've all been waiting for, the eagarly anticipated Friendship Webgroup of Miss Joanne, is finally OPEN! And it looks superb (if I may say so myself). Congratulations Jo, and I look forward to working with you more in the future.

'Til next time folks, stay safe, and don't run with scissors. Ciao!

R.I.P. Kettle

The visitors have finally left, and even the other permanent residents of the house have cleared out for the night - Woooohooo!

Today I started a 'nazi' clean-up of the kitchen. I say 'started', as I spent over four hours on it and only managed to wipe the benches, wash all the dinnerplates, throw out the kettle, and scrub the George Foreman. Have you ever tried cleaning day-old steak residue off a George Foreman using a toothbrush? Honestly George, your grill is fantastic, but for god's sake, next time you invent a kitchen appliance, a little less of the tiny nooks and crannies would be great!

After spending one and a half hours scrubbing the kettle with any means available, (bi-carb soda, white vinegar, disinfectant, hot water, steel wool and a toothbrush), this was the end result:

Needless to say, the dead kettle went straight in the bin, and has been replaced with a brand-spankin' new one. Just like the old one - minus the grime.

Happy to announce that Jo's webgroup is nearly ready to be revealed. Looks like tomorrow may be the day! Watch this space.

Having the house to one's self calls for vodka, chocolate, and Denzel Washington. Off to self indulge, au revoir!

In the beginning...

In honour of Jo's new friendship webgroup (coming soon to a computer near you), I propose a toast. Please raise your glasses, (be they filled with beer, wine, cranberry juice, poison, spiked with viagra, whatever), to the friends of yesterday, today and tomorrow. May they all lead long and successful lives filled with plenty of good food, good wine, and mind-blowing sex. Although the seas may come between us, may we always be side-by-side at heart.

On a more personal note, today will soon be marked in history as the day the nut was finally cracked. My lovely family is currently visiting, (oh whay heartfelt joy it brings me), and the four charming children and two delightful adults temporarily inhabiting my household have finally (don't pretend you didn't see it coming) plotted to destroy the free world as we know it. Therefore, I fear I may have to go into hiding (I wonder if Osama has any advice on cave décor...) until they tire and depart from the residence.

Until next time folks, no worries, be happy, keep smiling, and don't forget to change your underwear daily. Adios!